Feeling Reckless

I’m feeling a little reckless this morning….again.

So I lathered and rinsed…BUT I did NOT repeat.

Yeah….

And I did NOT wash behind my ears, either.

Then I put on a dirty pair of socks.

I know….

I put creamer in my cup before I poured my coffee.

Don’t even ask about the sweetener.

I opened my cereal box from the wrong end.

I’d already removed most of the “Do Not Remove under penalty of law” tags in the house during previous bouts of recklessness.

But I have not used everything as directed.

And I’m not starting today.

In fact, some of them I used downright improperly.

That’s just the way I feel.

I did NOT shake my orange juice before serving.

Later on I intend to bend at the waist, instead of my knees.

I’m just gonna start opening stuff and NOT refrigerate after.

Try to make me.

I’m using my cell phone WHILE pumping gas.

I am NOT staying in the crosswalk while crossing.

In fact I’m not even waiting for the light to change.

Sunscreen?

Not using it!

I’m using mayonnaise that expired 3 days ago.

That’s right….

Uh huh…

I’m having a conversation with a Republican.

While wearing an old “Friends of Bill” button.

I’m actually gonna try to poke my eye out.

Maybe hold my face in an odd position just to see if it will really freeze that way.

I’m not putting the toilet seat down.

At least not for a few seconds.

What? I’m reckless not crazy.

But I am gonna wash with unlike colors.

If I can locate the washing machine.

If I do, I may just over suds.

Not sure….

I’m definitely thinking about it though, because, like I said, that’s just how I feel.

And while I’m at it I may operate machinery AND drive a motor vehicle, WHILE taking a cold medication that may cause drowsiness.

I’m gonna find a TV show intended for mature audience’s….and watch it anyway.

If I can find a Sharpie…I’m sniffing it.

I don’t even care what color.

I drinking irresponsibly…on one leg…even while I write this.

Matches…I’m not only playing with them, I’m striking with the cover OPEN!

Sorry…I know this is making a lot of you “Goodie Two Shoe/Safety First” folks uncomfortable.

And by the way…I AM walking with my shoes untied.

While running down the stairs….

With a scissors in my hand.

So I’m gonna just take it outside…go get my crazy on…if you know what I mean.

But wait…is it starting to rain?

I’m not going out in that.

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